Most of You Probably Die

Thorgrim's Sea Shanty

I once met a lass so fine.
She was drunk on barley wine.
I'd been to sea,
for months a-three.
I knew I could make her mine.
And the lass was past consent,
So it was off with her we went.
And we threw her in bed
and rested her head
And we left, 'cause that's what gentlemen do.

A woman has a right to a drink or two,
Without worrying about what you will do.
We say "Yo, ho!" but we don't say "ho,"
'Cause "ho" is disrespectful, yo!

There once was a girl from Leeds,
Who I heard was good on her knees.
So I docked my ship
for an overnight trip,
To take care of all of my needs.
She was fine as the tales did tell,
And my mast began to swell!
So I laid her down
and raised her gown,
And performed cunnilingus for an hour or so.

Always take care of your lady fair.
'Cause they deserve as much attention down there
We say "Yo, ho!" but we don't say "ho,"
'Cause "ho" is disrespectful, yo!

I once had a woman so fair.
Whose womb contained my heir.
With a son by my side,
the seas we'd ride,
The child she would bear.
But my girl, she was no fool.
She was working her way through school.
So I did support
when she chose to abort,
Because it's her body and therefore her choice.

No, we don't say "booty" 'less we're talking about gold.
We don't look at chests 'less it, treasure holds.
With a hat and a feather and a cutlass on our hip,
We will never say "she" when we're talking 'bout a ship.
We don't say "bitch" and we don't say "whore,"
'Cause that language leads to things like body dysmorphia.

There was a lady with a golden eye,
And the doctor said she would die.
So she emptied her purse
to lift the curse,
And prayed to stay alive.
She awoke the very next day,
Hand in her grave she lay.
But the scariest part
of the story from the start,
Is I bet you assume the doctor was a man

Women are doctors, too!
And for a fraction of the doubloons.
We say "Yo, ho!" but we don't say "ho,"
'Cause "ho" is disrespectful, yo!

View
Day 4 - Looters and Thieves
If you burn kobold corpses, is it dragonflame?

In the dead of night, the Dragon Watchers go about picking clean the bodies of fallen kobolds. They collect (in total) 32 gp, 200 sp, and 200 cp (yes, you have to carry silver and copper, you're just lucky these kobolds apparently had their life savings on hand). Thorgrim is also set on collecting not only his first decapitated head of the adventure, but also requires one of the toothpicks of a spear the kobolds were wielding. Duncan, meanwhile, bullies all melee fighters into taking similarly toothpick-like kobold slings with them. That being done, the party decides to finally address a barking Dox off in the distance. Thorgrim, Wanda, and, of course, Xencarth, go to investigate. While Thorgrim only wants to kill things and doesn't particularly care if he gets swarmed by 30 or so kobolds, the others caution him away from the idea. Wanda comforts him, however, promising to find him a nice dragon to fight.

 

Jager is healed by Xencarth, while Faedi tends to their severely injured host and Raven distracts the kiddos. Afterwards, the entire party returns to sleep, as they will all need to restore their strength for another long day of traveling. When they all awake, however, they discover a trashed lower floor and the blood of one last kobold, one having snuck back in and gotten killed by Adam. Wanda relays the dying words of the kobold, who predicted the imminent destruction of all the towns and cities of Aenn. Duncan remarks that these are strange dying words for a kobold, who traditionally exhibits fear and desperation at the end of its life. Wanda remarks that they should get to Forest's Edge as soon as possible. As they eat, tend to their horses and prepare to set out, Jager gives 2 gp to Adam in an attempt to compensate for damages, while Faedi says goodbye to the girls. She takes a moment to ask Adam where their mother is, and discovers that (shockingly) she died giving birth to the youngest. Dem cliche feels doe.

 

The group resumes travel on horseback for the next few hours. Duncan is traditionally talkative; the elves are traditionally silent; it's all pretty chill. Eventually, the group spots a small stream in the distance and decides to make a quick stop so that their horses can drink and rest and Duncan the Aristocrat can bathe (which he does, wearing nothing but the mask and in full view of the party). The elves move upstream so as to keep their distance from the naked human and the dwarf, who is now singing his favorite sea shanty at the top of his lungs while playing with his new kobold head. Xencarth blesses his remaining apples and eats one, additionally giving one each to Dox and his horse. Jager, meanwhile, "whispers sweet Amastrian nothings into super-chill mare," (Harlig 2017), while Thorgrim goes about sharpening his weapons and Wanda takes care of her sickle. Once the Watchers are finished tending to the needs of themselves and their horses, they set off on the road again.

 

The next few hours go on without incident; however, somewhere along the road, Xencarth notices a head poking out above a small hill. The group decides to investigate, but finds nothing but a few very small shoeprints… (oooooooooooohhh) Unable to discover anything further, they move on for yet more uneventful hours of travel. They make camp just as the sun has finished setting, and determine the night watch: Wanda and Duncan first, Xencarth and Dox second, Jager and Thorgrim third, and Faedi and Raven fourth. 

 

The first watch is uneventful. Xencarth and Dox experience some paranoia during the second, and are unable to determine whether or not it is justified. When the third watch begins, Xencarth decides to only feign sleep for the next hour and a half, to see if anything interesting happens.

 

It doooooooooooooo-

 

Xencarth whips around at the first sound he hears, producing a flame in his hand to reveal a very surprised young halfling ruffling through the druid's things. "Oh. Hi!"

 

Dox catches the halfling as he attempts to escape. Jager and Thorgrim whip around; the other party members start to awaken to the noise. As people begin to argue whether or not they should kill the thief, Wanda's eyes go wide. "Milo?"

 

Wanda states that she met the halfling in a small farming village in the Hills of the Free Folk, roughly 10 years ago. Milo, after quite a bit of fearing for his life, reveals that the village was burned and his parents were killed by a dragon. Sympathy ensues, though some characters are still pretty set on killing him. Duncan in particular is fine with the halfling being murdered, and Jager is considering it. Xencarth is somewhat uncertain but leans against killing the halfling at that particular moment, and Raven seems ultimately impartial but goes along with Faedi's assertion that they cannot possibly kill him. Thorgrim wants to let the halfling go as well, saying only that he's "been in his shoes before" (ooooooooooooohhhh dat background doe). After a great deal of arguing and some intense character-ing, the Watchers eventually decide to keep the kid tied up for the night and let him go in the morning.

 

Duncan wonders why the hell Wanda seems to know everyone in the kingdom. Wanda provides no explanation.

 

In the morning, Duncan kicks the asthmatic halfling awake and unties him. He scurries off thankfully, with a gift of 2 gp from Thorgrim, an apple from Xencarth, an angry Amastrian dismissal from Jager, and a confusing insult in fairy from Duncan. That being settled, the party once again prepares themselves for the journey to Forest's Edge, expecting to make it by mid-afternoon, hoping that anyone at all is still alive when they get there.

View
Day 3.5 - Kobold Invasion
At least you got to do some fighting... right?

Near the end of the second watch, the kobolds came from over the rise, wielding spears and slings and ready to take on the Dragon Watchers. Though the kobolds had them in numbers, the Watchers proved far stronger, and in the end nine were killed, one left unconscious, and one shot in the back having fled the battle. Dox, the druid's wolf, went after the escaping kobold, tracking him to a tunnel not 100ft off from the farm. Though Adam mentions that the kobolds have been expanding south for the past year or so (a small fact that Wanda likely would have appreciated earlier), he will be shocked to find that they've built tunnels so close. He'll likely also mention that this is the first time in 5 years that so many have attacked the farm. However, all that remains to be seen as the group collects their respective thoughts after this sudden and short-lived assault.

View
Thorgrim's Journal: First Entry

Almost broke my keg today, crack in the side so won't do much for drinking but may need it for throwin'. Weird though, started thinking 'bout Kadrin when big guy was asking questions. Haven't thought of it for a while yet it still seemed like it was last moon. Thinking about it still doesn't bring any clarity. Everything happened so fast, we had no time to understand what was happening. The Assembly was wrong, I shouldn't have.. I took an oath, a slayer's oath, to guard the dawi and strengthen the stone. All I did was let the stone fall and the mountain crumble. Brother, I swear by my forge I'll learn what happened that night and before I rejoin the stone I'll take as many of them with me. The gnome might know something about this but something seems off about her. Gnomes sure are weird things. Still, they all believe this little group's been gathered at random. Maybe it has, but right now the only thing that can lead me anywhere is that odd, little gnome. She's got a spark in her, almost like Ungrim. I hope he made it out or at least joined the stone with honor.. Almost time for my shift of the watch and I desperately need somethin' to cleave. Still can't get used to seeing the moon overhead and not being surrounded by stone. How is it that others can live like this? 

-Thorgrim

View
Jäger's Journal: First Entry
What have I gotten myself into?

Ich vermisse Amastris. Ich vermisse die kuhle Brise und die helle Sonne. Ich vermisse mein zuhause…

(Translated from Amastrian)

I miss Amastris. I miss the cool breeze and the bright sun. I miss my home. 

I did not feel this way once for the duration of my travel, nor did I feel this way before I made it to Aenn's capital city, Aderann. No, it all started as soon as I stepped foot in that damn city. While it is a structurally defendable city, it's interior is nothing short of repulsive. The local garrison is incompetent, lazy, and most noticeably of all, scarce. Their commerce section, "Merchant's Row", was nothing more than slums and filthy beggars. All types of beings mingled through the market, a sight rare for my Amastrian eyes; but as the beggars tugged at my armor and a drunk dwarf attacked me, I only think that this wouldn't be the case at home. It took all my strength to hide my contempt of these people while I made it to the nearest tavern. However, my sightseeing would take a hard turn of inconvenient to dangerous…

A simple day long exploration of this continent had yielded unimaginable results, reptilian-flying beasts; "Dragons" as they call them here. Back home we have only heard of them in legend, a creature long thought to be extinct in Lexen. Now, I can attest they are real, and they are brutal creatures. With streams of fire and ice, they ravaged the city without any hindrance. Their ferocious might is in a way, majestic and swift. I could think of what the High Clergy would think of back home. Yet after surviving an encounter with them, I know the extent of their destructive power. I do not think they can be controlled effectively, and in that, they could be a threat to Amastris. 

Perhaps though, I should not be so lucky as to have survived the ordeal; as a result of following a gnome's safe retreat, I am now embroiled in some kind of effort to unravel a conspiracy veiling the kingdom. In any other circumstance, I would have made my way out somehow, but with the threat of this illusive resistance potentially compromising me and the omnipresent threat flying above us, I had no choice. To be fair, a male gnome sweetened the deal with promises of wealth in return for my services, so that could have swayed me slightly. No matter, the ultimate goal was to eliminate the threat, uncover more information about this illusive resistance, and do my duty. If only I wasn't going to be stuck with a gang of odd strangers.

It was only after we acquired horses to ride to our destination that I learned more information of my "allies-in-arms". We have seven in our group total, lead by the cheery gnome who saved us in the attack, Wanda. The second noticeable member is that drunk dwarf who had assaulted me earlier is "Thorgrim"; because fate is cruel that way. There's Xencarth, a rational druid with a wolf companion; a seemingly kind man, if only he were fully human. Then we have a pair of full-blooded elves; Raven the silent ranger, and Faedi the silent cleric. Normally I wouldn't have a care in the world if elves decided to keep their mouths shut, but in these circumstances, I wonder what they have to hide…

And how could I not mention our other human, Duncan. I was originally so pleased to have another human in our ranks, yet I would rather have more elves in line than a man like him. He's rude, crude, and he has a lot to say on… everything. He's a sorcerer with a silver tongue and he's all the more dangerous because of it. I can only imagine the punishment he would receive in Amastris for his insubordination. I have no patience for those who do not respect order, and Duncan is surely a man of chaos. Throughout our travel to our first mission, Duncan incessantly barraged the gnome about details expecting to be given a volume on all known matters. A good solider follows the orders of their leader, and will be informed of relevant information when necessary. It wasn't long before his antics annoyed some members of our convoy, ending in the dwarf throwing an empty ale cask at Duncan, knocking him of his horse. 

Duncan may be a loud-mouthed, smart-ass; but he did not warrant being attacked. The damage especially could have knocked the man unconscious, and then we would have to worry about a limp body. Additionally, while I may disagree on his methods, Duncan was asking important questions, especially when it came to the "dragons" themselves. The dwarf's tendency towards sudden violence infuriates me greatly, and I will not tolerate any attack like that in kind. I will kill that inferior drunk in retaliation. Amastrians hold grudges.

Once Faedi restored Duncan, we continued on our way. Questions would continue to plague my mind, especially the ones Duncan brought up about the dragons. However, lest I want to compromise myself, I'll trust the gnome girl to give me the information when we need it. Moving forward, I need to find allies in my strange group. In any event we are double-crossed, I need someone to watch my back. The elf pair are out, they don't trust any of us. Thorgrim is strong, but hasty; I won't throw myself into the flames if I don't need to. Which only leaves Xencarth and Duncan. Both are rational, and both are aware of their situation, but I haven't interacted enough with Xencarth to know his agenda. Duncan, on the other hand, is too prying. He craves information, which is a noble effort, but I don't want him in my business. I may have a way to approach him.

I will cease writing for now, my watch shift for the night is about to start. It seems my mission here has become all the more difficult with developments as they are. If I live through this, and make it back to Amastris, I will have so much to discuss.

- Jager Warstock

View
Day 3 - Questions
And so much salt.

 

For a first-hand account of these events, see

 

The Watchers obtain their (rental) horses from the stables just past Merchant's Row, miraculously unburnt and guarded by a surprisingly loyal stablehand. While Xencarth obtains an Asshorse (see Wiki -> Game Rules), and Jager obtains a Super Chill Mare (Wiki -> Game Rules), Thorgrim remains dedicated to his pony Roach, Duncan receives an all black super mysterious and not at all emo stallion, Faedi receives a pure white mare, and Raven receives a brown and white-speckled mare said to be good for firing on horseback. This being taken care of, the group makes their way out of the city, Wanda leading them through the northwest gate and onto the road to Forest's Edge.

 

Duncan immediately begins questioning Wanda, curious as to the gnome woman's motivations and how she plans to continue her work in Forest's Edge. Due to his tone, Wanda doesn't appreciate his excessive interrogation and so is especially quiet about these matters. Duncan does not appreciate that. The other members of the party do not appreciate Duncan. A lengthy argument in which the sorcerer is threatened by Thorgrim with his dragon tail ends when Thorgrim eventually gets fed up with his comments and throws his empty ale cask at the back of his head. It is a very dwarvish thing to do, but given that the sorcerer is the definition of a glass cannon it is agreed that it was likely not the wisest choice. Duncan is knocked off his horse and nearly loses consciousness; though Raven quietly comments that he clearly deserved it, Duncan is now extraordinarily salty and even Xencarth the druid disapproves of this action. Jager eventually calms everyone down by being authoritative and sounding German, and Wanda requests the cleric's assistance with Duncan before moving the party along.

 

The argument, of course, starts to pick up once again, but they are interrupted when Xencarth spots two kobolds watching them from over the horizon. The pair quickly retreats; while most are immediately uncomfortable, Wanda attempts to calm the group, saying that they may try to retrieve some friends from their burrow and come back, but that won't be until morning at the absolute earliest. The Dragon Watchers, she explains, would have plenty of time to reach Adam's farm, where the group will be staying for the night. They reach the farm, Wanda goes in to talk to Adam alone, then they stable their horses and introduce themselves to the farmer and his two young girls.

 

Duncan quickly resorts to lying for kicks, explaining to the family that he is an exiled prince and that his name and origins are very secret. The majority of people buy it wholeheartedly, due to the sorcerer's mad bluffing skillz; Wanda gives him a doubtful look, but remains quiet on the subject. One of the young girls, age 7, is slightly frightened by Jager and his Amastrian-ness, but the other, age 5, shakes his hand with a wide smile. The five year old is also insistent on petting "the doggy," and while Raven introduces himself to Adam the girls find themselves quite taken with Faedi. All introductions out of the way, Adam cooks a hearty meal for the bunch, Wanda and Duncan take first watch (with Jager second, Thorgrim third, and Faedi and Raven last), and the remaining Dragon Watchers settle in; their night would be far more comfortable than any spent in seedy Merchant's Row, but most would likely find it much harder to sleep given the circumstances of their mission and the threat of dragons overhead.

View
Duncan's Journal: First Entry
The Brass Hand stumbles forth

We hadn't even left the city yet, and there was already an argument. Acquiring horses had been easy enough, but getting information out of Wanda was a different story altogether. I've before never met a band so thoroughly content with ignorance as the one I've been shackled to by circumstance. Dragons return for the first time in centuries; nobody but me cares to ask why. Chromatic drakes attack the capital city of Aenn; nobody else finds it suspicious when we're led to the Metallic temple. We're press-ganged into joining a nameless dragon cult whose patron specializes in chaos and trickery, but I'm scolded for asking too many questions and demanding answers from our blackmailers.

We owe nothing to these gnomes we'd never before met in our lives.  When faced with an almost three days ride to a town we've never been to, across a road plagued with Orc raiders, to meet with unidentified "agents" and "friends" that our guide is reluctant to name. And yet, when I demand to know who we're supposed to meet with, somehow I'm the villain for asking. The others would apparently rather be without any direction whatsoever should we be separated from Wanda. I refuse to be led like cattle to my death. If our illustrious gnome captor were to leave us, like she would have if we'd chosen to warn the fort, how would we possibly explain ourselves when questioned by the authorities?

"Hi, I'm Duncan. I'm a foreign national and spontaneous spellcaster in a land that is ruled by wizards that despises my people. With me, I have in my company a dwarf who is equally likely to hit you, fall over drunk, or start shouting in any given scenario. I'm also in the company of two elves, one albino, that seem very eager to avoid visiting any elven settlements. Oh, don't mind the enormous musclebound fellow who lapses into  a gibberish tongue that only he understands or the half-elf druid and his tame wolf, they're harmless. We're here on behalf of a religious cult that doesn't actually have a name in order to warn surrounding lands about the re-emergence of dragons and their subsequent rampage across the capital of Aenn. We have no identification or way in which to corroborrate our story, and are in direct service to a Dragon God of trickery and chaos. You see, the weaker dragons and dragonkin are being mind controlled by a cabal of spellcasters (like me) from Entille (like me), and even the ancient dragons who can resist this effect are terrified of it happening to them and are fleeing the kingdom, abandoning their own relatives. Anyways, we'd like you to give us whatever resources you have at your disposal so our miserable band can attempt to put an end to a problem that Wyrms older than some continents are scared to fight."

I'm sure that would go over well. This is the sort of thing I had on my mind when we made our way out of the city, and it only really went downhill from there. The people who were content to let an unnamed stranger be beaten unconscious and dragged off for torture and questioning suddenly grow a fond appreciation of chivalry, and scold me for questioning the gnome so harshly. The gnome that serves a goddess of chaos and trickery. The gnome that has threatened us with surveillance for the rest of our natural lives should we ever stop helping her. The gnome that was content to remain silent for a three-day fucking ride, letting us sit in silence as we march to a fiery end. The gnome that would eagerly sacrifice us all if it meant the liberation of the dragons. The gnome that, I suspect, could dispatch each of us in turn before we even knew what was happening. But somehow I'm the bad guy. 

I try to extract from Wanda such unimportant details as the names of the people we're supposed to meet (Lady Marion and Balazar the Builder), what they look like (A blonde woman and a brown-haired, blue eyed man), and how they are involved with a nameless dragon cult devoted to chaos and trickery (they're agents of said nameless group). When I point out the fact that it's suspicious our nameless conspiracy has infiltrated the local government at the highest level, I am threatened by the dwarf. He wags the severed dragon tail-end at me in a suggestive manner. The same tail end, mind you, that he was only able to get in the first place because I lied to the guards protecting the dragon's body. I tried to get him off my back by suggesting Wanda would abandon his stubby ass and overworked pony if he fell too far behind the pack, and I think he bought it. Unfortunately, a few minutes later he threw an empty cask of ale at my head. 

Thrown from my horse and on the verge of unconsciousness, I contemplated exactly what terrible decisions I had made in life that led me to my current situation. I should have never left Entille. Instead of lying facedown in the mud, I could be back home getting myself into trouble with a royal heiress or two. I should have kept my mouth shut about my magic. The one time in my life I decide to tell the truth, and look where it gets me. 

As I'm pondering whether or not I have a concussion (and fantasizing about the dwarf's head on a spike), the others react with mild indifference. Our resident swordsman shouts something in that stupid language of his he thinks others can understand but actually can't and rides away to block the road ahead. Wanda gets the albino's attention, and she does her best to undo my splitting headache. After a delay longer than my questioning in the first place, we finally set off again as the sun begins to set.

As the sky begins to grow dark, the foreigner has the bright idea of everyone introducing themselves and answering a few icebreaker questions. The swordsman's is Jager, an unintelligible "explorer" (more like immigrant) from a country I can't be bothered to remember the name of. The elves are Faedi and Raven, and blessedly withhold any further detail. The druid is Zenkarth, a vagrant in search of magic drugs, or something. The dwarf is Thorgrim, who left home and has a deathwish. I introduce myself and ask if knowing where I'm from will prevent them from burning to death in dragonfire.

I bring up the subject of making camp for the night, and Wand a tells me that there is a farmer a few hours away who will allow us to stay for the night. I ask what his name is, and why he will allow six bizarre armed strangers into his home. I am told his name is Adam, that he has two daughters aged five and seven, and that he is yet another "personal friend" of Wanda's. For someone with such little legs, she sure manages to get around. Again, I am scolded by my fellow press-gangers for daring to question the authority of our resident three-feet-tall cultist/blackmailer. 
Zenkarth and his wolf spot a pair of kobold scouts monitoring us and then retreating back over a hill. Thorgrim wants to chase after them, while Wanda is utterly dismissive of the idea they might pose a threat. I point out that Kobolds are distantly related to dragons, and that they might very well be controlled by the same artifact that we're supposed to destroy. Kobolds are cowardly and stupid by nature, but that doesn't matter if a large force could be enslaved and mobilized. A large group of dominated kobolds that has been armed and organized could pose just as severe a threat as any orc warband. Maybe even more dangerous, given the race's natural affinity for magic. Wanda and the others ignore me, as usual.

Once we reach the farm, Wanda tells us to wait while she goes inside and negotiates our stay. After about five minutes (guess Adam finishes fast), the gnome returns and tells us to stable our horses and introduce ourselves. While his children entertain themselves with the albino and the druid's wolf, the rest of us greet Adam. I tell him that I'm an exiled prince from a far-off land, and that both my identity and land of origin are a dangerous secret. He and his daughters are enraptured by the lie, and overjoyed to be in the presence of royalty.

Wanda and my companions are less enthusiastic, but say nothing. If they can't handle a tall tale every now and then, they're welcome to return their looted dragon parts. The first dragons seen in centuries, and I bluff our way into harvesting blood and scales aplenty from it. "Thank you Duncan, for making us all unimaginably wealthy. We have some of the most precious materials in existence thanks to your clever tongue and quick thinking. We'll trust you to know what you're doing in the future, and not be so harsh when you ask questions or improvise a lie."

As if. The bastards still have yet to thank me, including Wanda. If I ever meet Aasterinian, I'll be sure to let her know to add Stupid and Ungrateful to her portfolio alongside Chaos and Trickery. We decide on four watches of three hours each, with Wanda taking the first watch. I offer to join her, partially because I don't trust myself not to get even with the dwarf while he sleeps, and partially because I can finally get some answers without five people jumping down my throat for questioning our captor or her religion.

- Duncan Dunhallow

 

 

 

View
Day 2 - The... Brass Hand?
You are definitely not getting badges.

 

The Temple of Dragons, located at the heart of Aderann's Temple District, is a humble building, with two small rooms on either side of the main area, two locked doors each leading to side halls, and a variety of well-kept secrets which are often exploited by the strange organization that seems to make its home here. The main room itself is lined on either wall with a variety of metallic dragons, each representing a god or goddess that can be worshipped in this temple. Two large doors stand at the front of the room, wide enough for a considerable crowd to pass through, though very few in these lands still worship dragon gods. The Temple of Dragons is meager, but clearly well-cared for and certainly not forgotten by its denizens.

 

As Merchant's Row is consumed by panic, a small gnome woman is heard above the din. "Everyone into the cellar! More are coming!" A gnome man is also seen, directing people toward the Greasy Goblin. For each their own reason, the group of travelers, henceforth to be known as the Dragon Watchers (forgive the dramatic name), make their way as directed into the cellar. It is a small stone room, located one floor below the Greasy Goblin, which quickly becomes filled to capacity with a crowd of terrified citizens. The two gnomes are the last to enter the cellar; the woman closes the cellar door behind them and looks back to the crowd. "We'll wait it out here for now; please remain calm." Duncan immediately rejects the idea of remaining calm and proceeds to launch a barrage of questions at the gnome woman, to which she is exceedingly unreceptive. Meanwhile, Thorgrim is staring longingly at the casks of ale lining the room; the bartender has a similarly negative attitude toward this development.

 

After a short while, a few of the Dragon Watchers hear crashing up above; a couple of them worry that a dragon has crashed through the place, but Xencarth is certain that it was dragon flame that brought the place down, not a creature itself. He is also certain, however, that he heard a support beam or something of the like land over the cellar door. It seems that the gnome woman has also heard this, as she looks toward the noise, then looks at the large crowd in the cellar, then begrudgingly looks to her companion and nods. She then approaches one of the rough-hewn stone walls of the cellar and feels around for a bit. Soon, she finds her place and reveals a small door, just big enough for an average-sized human but certainly difficult for a half-orc or someone similarly large. "This tunnel leads to the Temple District," the gnome woman says. "It will be safer there." The majority of people are immediately prepared to go through the tunnel. To those that won't, Xencarth attempts to diplomatically convince them to carry on. A man, woman, and their two children comply, as well as another man on his own, but when a couple refuse the advice, Duncan returns to bluffing his ass off and sends them in a fear-soaked beeline for the door. He then goes to further question the gnome woman, who is just as unresponsive as ever, as is the gnomish gentleman accompanying her. Inevitably, all of the Dragon Watchers decide to go for the tunnel, first Jager, then later the elves, the dwarf, the sorcerer and the druid. It is a long walk through the tunnel, which stretches across the entire city on its way to the Temple District.

 

Raven and Faedi talk amongst themselves, unwilling as ever to question anyone or strike up a conversation (an extremely elvish way to be, of course). Jager attempts to listen in on any conversation that may be of interest, but hits the side of his head on the tunnel wall and is temporarily stricken deaf as fuck. Instead of listening in, he therefore frightens the peasant in front of him by trying to ask how much longer it would be until they reached the Temple District. Duncan, after quite a bit of convincing, pushes the gnome woman to start revealing some information about the source of the dragon attack. While they hang back to have a private conversation, the gnome man takes out a lute and begins playing and singing an old sea shanty of the Long Shore. Thorgrim the dwarf, somehow managing to know everything there is to know about this song, begins singing along in a low bass and drumming on his now half-empty cask of ale (which he was given permission to take by a very defeated bartender). This sound echoes throughout the tunnel and seems to drown out the conversation of the sorcerer and the mysterious gnome woman.

 

As the gnome's song begins to fade, the conversation between the woman and the sorcerer is ended with a very loud and abrupt introduction. "Wanda!" After quite a bit of time spent walking, the group of citizens fleeing Merchant's Row exit the tunnel into a meager temple, complete with an open center room decorated on either side by a variety of metallic dragon's heads. The sorcerer walks up to a brass dragon's head near the front, then looks at the Wanda and flashes a wink. The gnome woman shakes her head and turns back to a very secretive conversation with her bard friend. Raven notices a hooded figure watching the two gnomes; occasionally, the bard's eyes will flick over to him, then back to Wanda. After a few minutes, Wanda leaves to scout the area and make sure that it's safe to leave the temple; the bard is keeping to himself now, but is quickly approached by the sorcerer, the tall foreigner, and the druid.

 

The druid merely asks his name and holds out his hand. Taking it and giving it a firm shake, the gnome man introduces himself. "Glim Ellish Jebeddo Nackle. Pleasure to meet ya!" The sorcerer then asks quite loudly if there's anything he can do to, uh,  help. Glim's eyes flick once more over to the hooded figure before he admonishes the sorcerer and tells him to keep his voice down. Before he can say anything else, however, Jager approaches and vigorously shakes the gnome's hand, nearly breaking a bone or two in his enthusiasm, and asks how on earth the bard knew about that tunnel. The bard politely ignores this question, instead trying to laugh off the sorcerer's suggestive comments about the relationship between him and Wanda. His eyes flick over in the direction of the hooded man once more, only this time he turns his head fully, noticing that the hooded figure is attempting to leave. Without further thought or word, he pulls his lute out once again and begins singing. The song is very enjoyable to the skittish crowd, until many of them realize they are unable to move. Jager and Xencarth are the only ones who seemed able to break free of this spell; as Jager demands to know what this gnomish bastard is doing, the bard simply continues singing and playing, and approaches the hooded man, whose back is now turned from the gnome though he is frozen in place. The bard continues this method of ignoring Jager's questions and slowly approaching, until finally he leaps up and smashes the hooded figure over the head with his lute. Being prone, the man is quickly knocked unconscious and falls to the ground. With this action Glim stops his spell, and the townspeople as well as the Dragon Watchers find themselves able to move again. Widespread outrage immediately ensues, which the bard lightly attempts to quell; however, he is more concerned with examining his now unconscious foe, and the infuriated townspeople continue on until Wanda returns stating that it is safe to leave the temple. At this point the entire crowd exits, but for the Dragon Watchers who still want to know what the fuck is happening here. Before explaining anything, the bard enlists the help of Duncan and then Jager to carry the unconscious individual into a back room for the time being. The two gnomes then are finally convinced to allow the group some information.

 

It is explained to Faedi, Raven, Thorgrim and Xencarth that the gnomes are part of a small, extremely secretive organization that is attempting to stop the dragon attacks (or at least limit the amount of suffering that ensues with their sweep of the kingdom). Only Duncan and Jager are given more information as to the details of this organization, who they may serve and who they may fight. The Dragon Watchers are also informed that the organization does not require that they help with this cause; however, due to the super duper secret nature of their operations in Aenn and the surrounding regions, anyone who says no will be monitored for the rest of their lives to ensure that they don't reveal anything to opposing factions. If they say yes, though, they will of course be compensated for their vital aid to the security of the kingdom. Left with little to no choice, all of the Watchers end up agreeing (some more begrudgingly than others), and the gnomes begin to discuss potential missions. After some deliberation, the group decides to travel to Forest's Edge, a town just west of Aderann, with Wanda accompanying them. With that decided, the gnomes begin discussing what to do with the unconscious dissenter in the other room, when the bartender emerges from the room with the tunnel. Wanda is surprised but pleased to see him, as he had seemed keen on staying behind with his ruined tavern. However, he seems prepared to rebuild, and merely asks if they found him, and where he is. Wanda shares the recent events that occurred in the temple, and without another word the bartender goes to the back room and closes the door, prepared to "deal with" the now uncloaked man.

 

That being finished, the Dragon Watchers and their new gnomish friends make way for the stable, to collect the ponies of Wanda and Thorgrim and also to retain horses for the others on their journey to Forest's Edge. They pass by the corpse of a juvenile white dragon as they walk on, one who was most likely shot down by the city's defense forces and crash-landed into a large building on the north end of the Outer City. After yet more ass-bluffing-off skills, Duncan manages to convince a guard that the group is there on behalf of the city to collect data from this dragon. The Watchers promptly begin hacking off pieces of dragon corpse and taking blood samples, and soon are on their merry way. It is now mid-afternoon; the previous panic of the city has now been replaced with the quiet desolation of this sudden attack. At this point, the new and somewhat unwilling recruits of this strange organization can only hope that they make it to Forest's Edge alive.

View
Day 1 - Skies over Aderann
oh shit, it's a thing

The city of Aderann is the shining capital of the Kingdom of Aenn. With two octoganal walls protecting it and guards stationed at several points within the inner city, it is perhaps the most well-defended place in the surrounding regions. Our story begins, however, in the Outer City, where despite considerable development over the last hundred years one can still find a fair amount of slums, with pockets of black market salesman and thieves' guilds scattered throughout. Merchant's Row, in particular, is a hub for these kinds of activities; it offers a combination of ludicrous scam artists, seedy taverns, and folks who have fallen on hard times.

 

It is late morning in the capital city. There are only few clouds in the sky, and Merchant's Row is bustling as people go about their daily lives.

 

Faedi Leaffinger, an elf cleric with a strange and otherworldy appearance, and Raven, her silent ranger companion, are sitting at a table at an inn & tavern affectionately known as the Greasy Goblin. It's a less-than-tidy establishment, with a gruff and sullen bartender sitting at a long bar, a small and shadowy pair in the corner, and a burly man who looks like he could easily have orcish blood in him getting thoroughly wasted. Fae approaches the bar and asks for a piece of bread; the man looks her up and down, noting the way she slightly shields herself under her hood, but simply nods and charges her two copper. She hands him the money; he goes back through a nearly imperceptible door (it is painted and flush with the wall), retrieves half a loaf of stale bread, and tosses it on the bar for her. She's immediately insulted, and questions why he only gave her half a loaf of bread that isn't even fresh. He shrugs and conveys that that's what she gets for two copper. She huffily storms out of the tavern, displeased with the service and hoping to find somewhere better to stay the night. Raven follows silently.

 

jfkld;sjfa awakens in an upstairs room of the Greasy Goblin, his wolf sleeping comfortably in the corner. He and his animal companion walk downstairs and look around the room, noting a slim, elvish-looking girl argue with the bartender and then huffily storm out, an elf ranger following behind her. He, too, notes the shadowed pair in the corner and the brutish individual chugging ale, but pays them no mind. Instead, he goes to the bar to order breakfast for himself and his wolf, but at the bartenders attempts to charge an extremely high rate for such meager service, decides to take his business elsewhere. He exits the Greasy Goblin and begins to contemplate where he ought to go for food.

 

Jager Warstock enters the capital city of Aderann at the southwest gate. He immediately approaches a guard to ask directions; however, the guard only gives him a confused look at the vaguely Germanic language spoken. Jager then in very broken common asks where he could find good ale in this city. The guard points him to the Greasy Goblin as the best-known tavern in the Outer City, but also cautions that no tavern in the Outer City is a good tavern. Jager takes his advice into account, and makes way towards Merchant's Row and the tavern therein. As he walks, he is approached by a beggar woman who hassles him for food before wandering off while mumbling something about "these damned foreigners out of Entille…" Then, as he approaches Merchant's Row, he decides to stop at an apple merchant's stall and request one. The merchant attempts to charge him 1sp, but after some discussion and failed pitches settles on 5cp. That settled, the foreigner goes about his business with apple in hand, working his way up to the aforementioned tavern.

 

Duncan Dunhallow wanders from the south end of Merchant's Row. Essentially he is merely looking for anything of interest; he has journeyed to the capital of Aenn all the way from Entille and is thoroughly convinced that the entire place is a shithole. As he wanders northward, he observes the milling peasants and lack of guards, as well as more than one dark alley with a leather-armored man standing at the entrance. He is not interested in pursuing anything here, not wanting to get his little sorcerer self murdered, and proceeds all the way to the Greasy Goblin, where he sees a group of elvish-looking folk exiting to go about their business.

 

The dwarvish fighter Thorgrim Ironfist approaches Merchant's Row from the north after stabling his severely overworked pony. He approaches the first merchant he sees, a man selling apples as well as odd, colorful potions that he attempts to garner interest for much like a drug dealer. Before he can finish his pitch, Thorgrim merely walks away and asks the next merchant for the best place to buy ale in these parts. The merchant, of course, points him to the so aptly-named Greasy Goblin, and the dwarf waddles his way southward on his mission to consume all the ale in the kingdom. As he approaches the tavern, he too sees the cluster of elvish people just outside the door, but decides to ignore the bunch in favor of ale. He does however, get shoved by a beggar woman and bumps the ranger, who is quickly on guard as the elvish cleric backs up nervously. Thorgrim utters a plain apology and the elves make no response, but turn back to their own conversation.

 

Faedi and Raven are in search of a nicer inn where they might be able to purchase a room for the night; after some discussion, and not being entirely happy to talk to strangers, they decide to look on their own whilst sticking to the shadows whenever possible. They become somewhat distracted, however, by the following sequence of events.

 

fdjfslkd hopes to buy some apples for him and his wolf. He approaches YET ANOTHER apple salesman, who after a lengthy pitch about the beauty and deliciousness of Hearthglen apples tries to sell him half a dozen for 7sp. Before fdksjfk can try to haggle him down or exclaim any sort of outrage at the incredibly high pricing, the sorcerer Duncan walks up and interjects to express outrage of his own. After quite a bit of argument between the three, Duncan decides to bluff his ass off by posing as a health inspector. The apple merchant has no idea what a health inspector is, but is made sufficiently uncomfortable by the presence of such authority. It is then that Jager, standing at 6'3", approaches and casts an even more uncomfortable presence. After yet more argument and an intimidate check or two, the merchant ends up charging fjkdlsjf 12cp for the six apples. That settled, Duncan then turns on the apple-hoarding druid, questioning his purchase. The druid simply explains that it's two for him, two for his wolf, and two for later. The sorcerer thinks this is stupid, but doesn't know enough about wolves to comment on their dietary habits. Meanwhile the dwarf has purchased some ale from the Greasy Goblin, exited, and then waddled up to the very loud group. He is now tipsily listening in, while sipping contentedly at his half-gallon. Jager backs away from the commotion, not wishing to participate in this argument. Thorgrim comments on Duncan's cloak, which he continuously refers to as a cape, and in the midst of the ensuing argument decides to give it a powerful yank, at which point the sorcerer gives him a good scolding. The elves have observed parts of the conversation, but are more interested in finding a better place to spend the night. As they approach a merchant to ask for advice on this matter, Jager is spotted observing the sorcerer, dwarf, and druid with notepad and pen in hand.

 

The merchant that the elves have approached seems to be a struggling artist, attempting in vain to sell painted leaves. Raven has, at Fae's request, taken it upon himself to be the mouthpiece of the pair; before he can speak, however, the merchant begins excitedly pitching him the product so neatly and carefully layed out at his meager stand. The ranger listens for a while, clearly disinterested, but is urged to take a look at the promise that the merchant will point him to the nearest and nicest inn. This sales pitch goes on for quite a while as the other characters continue to have quite strenuous interactions.

 

Duncan is the first to notice Jager taking notes on the group. He sarcastically strikes a pose, and as he does so Thorgrim goes again to grab his "cape." He decides against it, however, and instead turns to the druid. "Is that your wolf," he drunkenly asks.

"Um, yes. What of it?"

"Can I. Can I ride it?"

The druid starts to make a comment about how the size of the dwarf and the size of the wolf are not compatible for this task; the dwarf, however, ignores him and begins to approach the wolf. He is quickly distracted, however, by the sorcerer's desire to create a bit of chaos. Duncan leans down and tells the dwarf that the extremely tall human is… trying to draw him naked. Without questioning this in the slightest, the dwarf immediately goes to bull-rush Jager. He succeeds, and Jager is knocked back into the wall of the Greasy Goblin, taking 1 non-lethal damage.

 

The elves look on, extremely confused by these strange and very loud individuals. As they've been watching this, they haven't noticed the struggling artist's continued pleas for them to buy just one leaf. He has continuously been lowering the price from 1sp to eventually 1cp. When he finally catches the attention of the elves again, the ranger accepts, partially out of pity and partially to finally hear where they could go for a nicer place to rest.

 

They are directed to the Greasy Goblin, the best tavern and inn in the Outer City!

 

Extremely dismayed, the pair part ways with the leaf salesman. Raven begins to wander south in search of a nicer place on his own, but Fae is distracted by the commotion of the other characters. As she is watching in confusion and fascination, she does not notice her hood slip from her head, revealing her stark white hair and extremely pale blue eyes. fdjklsj, however, does notice this, and leaves from cheerily watching the dwarf act drunk to offer the elf girl an apple. She does not respond to this, unsure what to say and not really wanting to talk to anyone new. The ranger returns just as this exchange is happening, and steps defensively in front of Fae. fjkdljs pulls out another apple, just as friendly as before. Faedi conveys that she is not interested, and the ranger merely turns his silent back on the half-elf. However, just as the elves are about to depart, the sorcerer turns his interest from the drunken dwarf and the displeased foreigner to question the elvish individuals, in complete earnest, about the presence of an "elf convention" in town. Faedi is incredibly displeased with this conversation, and none of the three deign to answer this. Duncan then tries to bond with them by lying and saying that he, too, is an elf. However, his bluffing skills aren't quite as up-to-par as earlier, and the druid dubiously questions him in Elven, to which he replies in Sylvan. Unamused, the elves are once again ready to leave when the bunch is approached by Jager, who after being offered a piece of moldy cheese by the drunken dwarf has had it with this part of town. He asks in yet more broken common where he might be able to find a "not local establishment," where he can drink ale in peace. It is just then that Thorgrim, sad that he could not make amends with his moldy cheese, approaches the tall human with yet another half-gallon of ale that he has just purchased from the Greasy Goblin for another 1sp. After some hesitance, the foreigner accepts the ale, sniffs it distrustfully, and takes a small sip. He thinks it over, then gruffly thanks the dwarf.

 

Yet again, the elves have had it with the nonsense spouted by these people, and are ready to once again be on their own. However, their departure is interrupted as a dark shadow passes overhead. They look up at the sky to see the silhouette of a small dragon, briefly blocking out the sun as it flies ominously at about 120ft over the capital city. Panic has begun to set in amongst the people; beggars, merchants, and commoners alike are seeking shelter and darting to and fro along Merchant's Row. While Thorgrim insists that they go and kill the thing, and Duncan casually notes that it is a young red dragon and begins listing off everything he knows about the creatures, Faedi and Raven are cowering against a wall and Jager and fdjklsdjf make way for the Greasy Goblin in hopes that it contains a basement that can be used as shelter. The characters begin to lose themselves in the commotion of the panicking Outer City; fear begins to set in over what this could mean, not only for them but for the kingdom itself.

 

(Note: Until James White can get back to me with his character name, he will be affectionately known as fjkdlsjfksldjfkljkldsjfkls XD)

View
Welcome to your campaign!
A blog for your campaign

Wondering how to get started? Here are a few tips:

1. Invite your players

Invite them with either their email address or their Obsidian Portal username.

2. Edit your home page

Make a few changes to the home page and give people an idea of what your campaign is about. That will let people know you’re serious and not just playing with the system.

3. Choose a theme

If you want to set a specific mood for your campaign, we have several backgrounds to choose from. Accentuate it by creating a top banner image.

4. Create some NPCs

Characters form the core of every campaign, so take a few minutes to list out the major NPCs in your campaign.

A quick tip: The “+” icon in the top right of every section is how to add a new item, whether it’s a new character or adventure log post, or anything else.

5. Write your first Adventure Log post

The adventure log is where you list the sessions and adventures your party has been on, but for now, we suggest doing a very light “story so far” post. Just give a brief overview of what the party has done up to this point. After each future session, create a new post detailing that night’s adventures.

One final tip: Don’t stress about making your Obsidian Portal campaign look perfect. Instead, just make it work for you and your group. If everyone is having fun, then you’re using Obsidian Portal exactly as it was designed, even if your adventure log isn’t always up to date or your characters don’t all have portrait pictures.

That’s it! The rest is up to your and your players.

View

I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.